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Ciara's Journal

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

6:18PM - La la la

Okay, so this boy. I was all set to be over him. He was kinda rude to me at my house the other night. So I said, fuck him, I don't need him. I set off to find myself some booty. Well, my booty call is sick, so I hook up with this guy that has been hitting on me forever. Okay, can I say one thing?? I am so sick of impotent little boys!!!! Ok, he wasn't little (age-wise anyways) but damn. Anyways, very very glad nothing happenened, cause the next day the boy I liked came into my work for lunch and made an ass out of himself trying to make me laugh. Needless to say, it worked. And then, that night he called me at one in the morning cause he was upset. He called me! Damnit. Anyways, then he came into my work AGAIN today, and was like, yeah, I'm coming over later to drink a few beers and hang out with you and Kris and Mike. So the whole time I'm thinking. "This is just great. I get all geared up to be over you and decide to try and screw your co-worker, and now you want to be interested? Thanks. Could have had better timing!!" Oh, doesn't that make it all the better? The guy I (tried) to get booty from works with him. Anyway, so me and Ashley came up with the story of my life. Wanna hear it? Ok, it goes like this. I marry a series of gay boys so we can get money for college and get the marriage annulled in 6 months. Then, while in graduate school I meet this guy, we fall in love, blah blah blah, he drops his seed and takes off. I am left with a baby, (I never really saw myself raising a kid with anyone anyways), and am forced to marry a series of rich old men then divorce them and take all their money. And then me and my son (I want a boy) can sit around watching the Superbowl on our big plasma screen TV and drink imported beer and yeah. So I'm going to have like 15 ex-husbands and I married them all for "financial reasons". Isn't that sad?? I don't really ever see myself getting married for love. I'm bitter and cynical and I don't want to be!! But I can't help it boys are stupid I hate them all.

Current mood: aggravated

6:17PM - Who is a gemini???

You should be dating a Gemini
21 May - 20 June
This mate is inquisitive, entertaining and
charming, liberal, broad-minded and youthful.
Though Gemini has a tendency to be impatient,
gossipy and sometimes irritable, this twin has
the ability to expresses his or her pent up
emotions during sex!

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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Sunday, January 4, 2004

8:34PM - Crazy Day

So I finally got a new stereo installed in my car last night. So today me and Lindsay went for a drive so we could listen to it. It's awesome!!! Anyways, so we were somewhere in the middle of nowhere miles away from anything, driving 25 miles per hour because the road is one big sheet of ice. But the whole time we were rocking out to anything from lenny kravitz and dj irene to zombie nation and tons of other shit. It was a blast. Then we couldnt find I5 and were lost on an icy desolate highway. We stopped at a bar in the middle of nowhere and everyone looked at us and I was like, "Does anyone know how to get to I5??" And some drunk lady gave me directions and we peed and left. We finally found I5, stopped at Sharis in Lacey and spun around in a parking lot. Getting back on the freeway, we slid in black ice for a while but finally slid out of it. We finally got home, well, to Lindsays, and my booty call calls. As some of you know, I'm fallin for this boy right now. We've been spending a lot of time together, and I really like him. Well, normally my booty call calls and we have sex. Today he called and I went home. I totally could have gotten some tonight but I didn't. Damn why did I fall for a boy. I liked being all free and shit. Oh well. If this boy doesn't make a move fairly soon, I'm gonna go get laid. But I really like him! Damnint why did I do this?!?! Whatever. I like this boy so I guess I can wait around for a little while. Okay, I'm dead and I have class in the harbor tomorrow morning. Goodnite all...

Current mood: thoughtful

Friday, January 2, 2004

11:05PM - I like a boy

Whats going on. I like a boy. Ahhh! I made it very clear to him that I like him, so now I'm just kinda waiting for him to call me. I've made plenty of moves on him. And waiting totally paid off. He texted me twice, then called me, I think he might come over later. But I'm not sure. I really want him to come over!! I don't know but I'll update later if anything happens!!

Current mood: excited

Sunday, December 28, 2003

11:32PM - Oh Boy

Okay, I have fallen for a boy. Fuckin damnit.

So, this boy has just gotten out of a four year relationship. He was engaged. He lived with her. Blah blah blah. We've been hanging out, and just having a good time. Each time I hang out with him, I fall for him a little more. And tonight I have fallen a lot. We went to dinner with my roomie and his friend. We took seperate cars, and me and him were in his car. Well, we all went to leave and we got in his car and drove back to my apartment. Well my little roomie decides not to come home. Little fucker (but I love him!). Well, me and boy put on the Simpsons DVD and sit on my bed and watch it. We both knew there was some chemistry between us, and I had told Iha to tell him all he had to do was throw me on my bed and just kiss my neck. And he did! It was wonderful. So we kissed a little, then watched some TV. We kissed a little more, and watched some more TV. No clothes were ever taken off tonight. There was a little touching, but the whole thing was kinda innocent. It was cute. Damnit I like him. Fucking hell. Anyways, so we were hanging out and having a good time, talking, kissing, watching TV. And then...the fiance calls. He gets frustrated because he doesn't want to hurt me by leaving, but there is bill stuff he needs to take care of. Well, I tell him that if he needs to go then he should go, I don't mind. He pours his heart out to me. Some deep shit. He tells me he really likes me, and he was so sincere. Damnit!!!!! I have fallen for this boy. He's still hurting from his recent breakup, and then here I come in. Why am I that girl?? This sucks. But at the same time, I'm not really upset. I'm kinda happy with the way things went tonight. I'm just kinda sitting here, contemplating the situation. I'm not angry with him for leaving, or sad that he didn't stay. I actually don't mind. I understand. I've had those kind of relationships. I'm sure most people have. I kinda like him, so I'm willing to wait and see what can happen between us. Don't get me wrong, I'm still bitter and cynical, but this boy might be making me feel that way less. I wouldn't necessarily say that I have put my faith back in men, but something like that.

Current mood: thoughtful

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

10:48PM - Fun times at our apartment

Wow. Interesting party. I'm kinda drunk, so bear with me. Heres some pictures:

Okay, apparently I'm too drunk to remember how to put pictures on my journal.


Wednesday, September 24, 2003

6:14PM - I have no subject

Okay, I know I rarely post on LJ anymore, but I have an excuse. Two in fact. One, my computer is a raging piece of shit. Two, I have no life to post about. I think that sums it up.

Anyway, so I cut off my hair. It's gone, well, not like when Niki cut her hair gone. But I did cut off about eight inches. It was a scary experience, but I love it. And so does everyone else, which is nice, since I was really nervous about doing this.

So I have a love/hate relationship with the Downtown center of TCC. I love it cause it's downtown and the people are really cool. I hate it cause it's downtown and the parking is SHIT!!! I was late for my orientation because the lot was full and on street parking was only for an hour. (My orientations being about 4 all together). So I had to park like 5 blocks away and pay four dollars. Then I had to walk in these really cute, but really painful shoes and now I have a pretty blister to show for it. So now I'm just chillin in the lab (with my shoes off) and typing. And typing. And all I want to do is go to bed. Can I do that? Please? Right now. I wonder if I'll get in trouble...

Current mood: blah

Friday, September 12, 2003

2:19PM - What??

Okay Niki, you got me all curious as to what I was....

What the fuck?!

Current mood: confused

Thursday, September 4, 2003

1:29AM - So confused

So I finally talked to Kyle today. We talked forever, just catching up on the past four years that we didn't talk. He filled me in on what happened, but I really wish someone else would tell me-you know, for a "different perspective." I don't understand what he could have done that was so horrible. I've known this kid since we were thirteen years old. We were so close! I miss that, a lot. He was my last really good friend before I went off the deep end. And of course, I get my friend back and he's in Arizona. Wouldn't it just figure. Not like I can just go pop over and see him. Do you have any idea how much that sucks!? To reconnect with an old friend and not be able to give him a huge hug and say, i missed you? Sure, I can say I miss you over the phone, but it's just not the same. Christmas is too far away. If it wasn't $200 to go to Arizona, I would go tomorrow. I miss him. I'm kicking myself in the ass that I had to wait until he moved multiple states away to call him. Wouldn't this shit just figure. Why do all my friends leave me? I get close and Bam, they're gone. Where did they all go? I feel so lonely. And tired. Time to go to bed.

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

1:54AM - Crazy Strippers

Okay, so me, Lindsay, Warren and Niki all went to Deja Vu tonite. Now, I've only been there once before, but I had a blast last time. This time, however, it kinda sucked. A cracked out stripper with a really floppy pussy got pissed at us because we didn't tip her. Okay, first of all, she was fucking nasty. Her cunt was hanging down and looked like testicles. Second, she couldn't dance, and third, she was ugly. Why the hell would I tip her?? So she threatened to get us kicked out, but we weren't. Then the next stripper came up and it was the one who gave me a lap dance the last time I was there. Needless to say, I tipped her. :-)

Current mood: annoyed

Monday, August 25, 2003

11:03PM - * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


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10:51PM - Ladida

Okay, just sitting here, doing nothing. Me and Lindsay went to Hanks Casino tonight. It was my first time gambling, because I don't count the Emerald Qeen cuz it sucked ass. Anyways, I went in with twenty dollars and came out with nothing, but it was so much fun. I can't wait to go back again. So I decided I'm going to get my tongue pierced, either Wednesday or Thursday. If I go to Beauty, I'll go Wednesday. Downside, I have to go to Enumclaw, which is like 45 minutes away. If I go to Tsunami, I'll go Thursday. Downside? It won't be Beauty sticking a fat needle thru my tongue. Whatever happens happens. I'm kinda excited. I've been wavering in my decision on whether or not to get my tongue pierced for a long time. All of a sudden, I just decided to do it. So nobody let me back out of this okay!! (Unless of course, I go completely broke in the next two days because I've gambled away all my money at Hanks). Anyways, gonna go to bed now.

Current mood: lazy

Monday, August 18, 2003

8:03PM - Wouldn't it figure

<td bgcolor="#000000">Your LJ username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your real name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your last words will be...</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">"FUCK YOU!" </td></tr>
What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Created with quill18</a>'s MemeGen!

Saturday, August 16, 2003

6:24PM - * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


I'm just sitting at home right now, typing on Iha's computer with its damned fucked up "natural" keyboard, you know, the kind that is split into two?? Anyways, it's hard for me to type on it. I keep pressing the m when I want a comma, and a comma when I want a period. Damn. So, lifes been allright lately. Got a new job, quit the old one, moved into my apartment, bblah blah blah. Laurens coming on Monday, I'm really excited to have her around for a while. I just hope shes not with Matt every single second, or that Matt is here every single day, or that they have sex on my couch.

Anyways, going to the housewarming party tonight. I say "the" because there's just too many people who live in that house to list.

I want a boy! Not a serious relationship type thing, but an innocent little thing. You know, like your first ever boyfriend, where its all innocent and light and happy. None of this I'm gonna kill myself if you leave me bullshit, I am so fucking sick of deppressing whiny boyfriends!!!! I just want a guy whos at least partly happy with himself. And maybe a boy who plays guitar, whos kinda shy, Can I just describe the perfect guy and someone create him for me? I'll buy him! I just want something, you know? Anything. A boyfriend, a cuddle buddy, a fucking date would be nice. I feel kinda isolated, like I'm never gonna meet anyone new. Where does one go to meet the nice boys?? The ones you can take home to mom and she'll never want to stop cooking for?? I feel like thats all I do lately is dream. i don't really have anything else better to do. I don't really know what else to do. Where the fuck do I go to meet a fucking guy!

Current mood: blah

Thursday, July 10, 2003

5:57PM - I'm so Excited!! And I just can't hide it!!

I'm moving into my apartment on Saturday!! Not this Sat, but next...the 19th. Yeah!!!! I'm soooooo happy!!! Anyone wanna help me move?? Drinks to follow...

I'm so excited!!!

Current mood: ecstatic

Tuesday, July 8, 2003


You represent... desire.
You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.

What feeling do you represent?
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free enneagram test

ICE is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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sex appeal

(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
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I am a giant mutant kitten. Not strange at all.

Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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I couldn't think of a better subject. Anyways, I haven't written in so long. My life has been kinda hectic lately, I got a second job, so I'm working 6-7 days a week. It's nice though, I get money every day (tips) and I get a lot of hours. Plus (big plus) I can finally afford the apartment me and Iha have been wanting. I'm so excited. It's on hold for us right now. By the end of this month we should be all moved in. Party at my place! I want presents. I need a toaster, a vacuum...Just kidding. But hey, if ya do just have those things laying around...

Anyways, I'm kinda upset with Warren right now. We were supposed to go camping Sunday night up at Lake Cushman. I talked to him at 2:30 and he said he was gonna run over to his friends house then he would call me right back. So I packed up my entire car, tent, sleeping bags, food, the whole nine yards. And he never called me back. I called him fifty million times, and finally stopped by. His mom was home, but he wasn't. His mom was kinda mad, cuz he had told her he was going camping with me and he (very obviously) was not with me. He didn't even call me the next day. So I'm kinda upset, mainly because I went through all this work of packing up my car, hauling firewood from the woodpile and everything, and he couldn't even call me to tell me he didn't want to go anymore. I wouldn't have been mad if he had just called. Okay, enough bitching.

Hey Zach, get some more minutes on you stupid cell phone and call me you little bitch. Love ya!

Current mood: contemplative

Monday, June 30, 2003

2:21PM - Deleted from the matrix?????

What the........

Happy Deathday!
Your name:Cjsweetie
You will die on:Wednesday, August 8, 2029
You will die of:Deleted from the Matrix
Created by Quill

Hehe, well, at least I'm not dying of old age...I mean, how boring is that??? He I'm gonna be 44 when I die. Just over the hill...yup...

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

5:19PM - Yeah for Summer!!

This weather is awesome!!! I love the sun!! I haven't written in soooo long!!!! This is my last week of school. Next week is finals. I actually have a final tomorrow, and I need to study for it. So I got this term paper assignment for my mythology class. I decided to write it on how the Dragonlance books are mythically influenced. Since those books are Christians favorites (Chris my ex) I decided to call him up and see if he would help me. Yeah, yeah, I know. Pathetic excuse to see him. So we hung out and he helped me, and everything was totally cool. The next time he helped me however, I ended up someone being in his arms again. Damnit. Now all the feelings are back. Funny how I can only seem to remember the good times and the good feelings, and none of the bad. I got the tingles! Fuck the tingles! I got them when I was in his arms, when he touched my hair, and when he kissed me on the cheek goodbye. Fuckin A! I know I don't want to get back together with him, but is it so wrong to want to just curl up in his arms and go to sleep? I feel so at peace in his arms, all my worries and cares just melt away. But do ya think I would like, lead him on I guess, if I did that? Probably. But on some level, I really don't care. He fucked with my feelings, can't I screw with his? But then, on another level, I do care. Because I still love him. I probably always will. Maybe not the same kind of love, but there's still some love there somewhere! Fuck! What do I do!?!?!?! Anyone got any suggestions??? I'm open to advice...GIVE GIVE GIVE!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: frustrated

Thursday, May 8, 2003


Here I am, just sitting at Iha's getting ready to watch Buffy and Agel. Thought I would update, but I don't really have too much to say. I found myself a new victim!! His name is Casey (I think) and he's tall, dark haired and gorgeous. So gorgeous. I love him. He is so yummy!!! Anyway, gotta go.....

Current mood: lazy

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